In the early 1980's I had a 'reconnecting' experience that slowly and imperceptibly changed my life. It was the essential cause of my resigning and deciding not to work in the corporate world again nearly 25 years later. Leaving my job had nothing to do with a 'goal' or a running away, it was a running towards something my heart and soul longed for - freedom and reconnection with all life. 95% of my time was spent indoors, either in an office or in a car. Everything I did after hours was designed around forgetting what I had to do during office hours. Funnily enough, I did not know what I was running 'to'; nothing was described or planned, it was a simple knowing that I had to leave. I suppose this is what most people call a 'mid-life' crises. I wonder if anyone will ever read this and understand? If so, I hope you will tell me about your experience. It just seemed to me that I could not do it anymore. I could not pretend and hide who I was anymore. I am not articulate and cold logic does not come naturally. Logic to me is considering all aspects, how they connect, integrate and synthesize. As all woman do, I look for co-operation not competition. Mostly, this way of thinking just did not work in the workplace and, in order to survive there, I had to learn to think like the workplace did. As a result, I felt that I was slowly dying. It was awful..
Now I can say things like 'I can feel the moonlight dancing in my soul' instead of 'through the chair...'!!
Diana Elsmere
